You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
