If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
