Your tits are I can't wait for
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
