I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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