Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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