Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He better not be in your backpack
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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