so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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