P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
