I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Be still, my beating vagina.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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