shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Randomize
