My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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