I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
