how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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