Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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