tell your sister to shave her snatch
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
