i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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