I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
