Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
