Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
