marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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