Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
