the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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