I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
