I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
