what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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