dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
