ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
