is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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