Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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