It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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