Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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