yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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