Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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