I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
