I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
