I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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