I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize