He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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