He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
