the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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