please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
they're like a gay fantastic four
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
