do herpes really smell.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
