i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
