New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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