So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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