I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
it's like heaven, but drunker
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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