I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
