I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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