Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
