I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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