k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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