she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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