I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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