I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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