So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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