Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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