I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
