If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
not ubering you a puppy
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
