...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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