It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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