So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
