also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
