My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
