why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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