3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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