sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
