Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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