So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
