I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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