I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
